The Job Search Survival Series: When the Silence Gets Loud
Silence has a way of feeling personal during a job search—even when it isn’t.
Two types of silence seem to have the greatest impact on job seekers. There is market-wide silence: a long period of inaction and non-response after submitting what feels like a ton of applications. And then there is employer silence, which shows up as the waiting game after following up on a role or completing an interview. It’s in these two situations where I see clients begin to spiral—and it’s completely understandable.
It’s human nature to wonder. Our brains are wired to make sense of things and seek closure. So when we don’t have context or information explaining the silence, our brains start writing their own stories about why.
That’s when we slip into defensive or threat mode, and our minds begin to feast on our insecurities. We start questioning our qualifications, competence, performance, abilities, and talents. What begins as a question of professional value can quickly turn into a deeper questioning of self-worth or direction.
Before you rabbithole into the Temple of Doom and jump into action that may not be appropriate or necessary—remember this: silence is not feedback, and it’s not information. In today’s job market, silence is often a byproduct of slow or frozen hiring cycles, overloaded recruiters and managers, disorganized hiring processes or applicant tracking systems, or sheer volume—especially with AI-generated resumes flooding inboxes. None of this is within your control, and none of it is a criticism of your qualifications.
How you respond to silence internally and externally can make all the difference. When the silence feels deafening, here are a few concrete things to do.
1.) Pause the story your brain is telling you.
Rarely does our brain stay silent when the hiring process does. Intentionally listen to what your brain is saying. Write it down if you need to, and actually hear it. If someone close to you were spewing the same nonsense about being a terrible candidate or “unhireable,” you’d shut that down immediately. Give yourself the same courtesy.
2.) Separate fact from fiction.
This is where your rational brain gets to counter your emotional brain. A fact sounds like: “It has been thirteen days since I last heard from the hiring manager.” Fiction sounds like: “It’s been thirteen days because they’re moving forward with someone else, and I didn’t answer the last question well.”
For what it’s worth, I’ve had multiple experiences where more than a month passed after an interview or final correspondence—and each time, I ended up being the hire.
3.) Give yourself permission to be uncomfortable.
Strip away the urgency. Remove the panic. Allow yourself to be human. Discomfort is a normal and temporary part of the search process—it’s not a failure and it’s not a permanent state. And if it helps to remember, the person on the other side of the hiring equation is likely juggling competing priorities, deadlines, and pressure of their own while trying to make the best possible decision. Take a breath. Sit with it. Discomfort is allowed.
Silence can feel unbearable because what’s unsaid creates uncertainty. It’s normal to want fast answers. But there’s a reason applying and hiring is a process—it’s built for thoughtfulness, not speed. Silence doesn’t mean you’re inept, doing something wrong, or destined to stay stuck piecing together work forever. Decisions take time on both sides.
Try to experience silence as a state, not a story. Because when the right opportunity does arrive, you may look back and recognize this quiet stretch as the calm before things really begin to move.
Until next time, y’all honor the silence.
