Systems, Not Shame: Designing Life with a Nonlinear Brain

Spending all day, every day with myself is fun — and exhausting. As a creative entrepreneur with a complex mind, my brain and body will go until they absolutely can’t. Add a little imposter syndrome, a streak of perfectionism, and the youngest child’s internal drive to exceed expectations, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for physical, mental, and emotional burnout.

Knowing this about myself requires a certain level of awareness, discipline, energy, and support so I don’t lose sight of being human. I don’t always keep the best pulse on it — especially when I slip into creative flow. Thankfully, I have a husband who waves the “Have you stopped today?” flag, a dog who gives me side-eye when I haven’t taken him outside, and a therapist who gently welcomes me back to center when I drift too far.

Aside from the general chaos of adulthood and running a small business, I genuinely love learning, creating, and building. I have notebooks, sticky notes, word docs, and journals full of half-started projects and “somedays.” But when creative energy fades at the execution stage, follow-through can feel heavy. That’s where systems come in.

Here are three that keep me oriented, aligned, and moving forward in life and work:

1. I Use a Physical Planner.

Yes — an actual paper planner. After experimenting with digital calendars, wall planners, sticky notes, and task managers, I realized I needed something tactile. Something that lets me sit down, turn off the digital noise, and focus. Though it may seem like overkill, I rely on different tools for different areas of life.

My digital calendars manage appointments. My wall calendar shows me the big things ahead. AI helps me break it all down. My phone gives me last-minute nudges. But a physical planner gives me a break from technology and a contained space to see my day and week more clearly.

I log what I plan to do and what’s scheduled — and then update it with what I actually did. Writing down “four loads of laundry” may seem trivial, but when I wonder where the day went, I can see the answer. When I need to remember when I called insurance or how a project evolved, I have a record. It’s less about productivity and more about visibility.

When your brain fires in ninety directions at once, a grounded container makes a difference.

2. I Break Tasks into Micro-Steps.

Gone are the days of putting something simple on my to-do list like: “Print address labels for my annual International Women’s Day mailing.” Seems straightforward, right? Except the printing is only one tiny piece of the actual task.

It actually requires:

• Remembering where I saved the file

• Looking through it to see who has relocated

• Deciding if the list of 40 is still relevant

• Brainstorming who I want to add this year

• Requesting addresses from new contacts

• Following up with old ones for updated information

• Entering and formatting everything in the label template

• Sorting through my supplies to find the correct label size

• Making sure the printer settings are correct

• Realizing I’m low on ink and ordering a backup cartridge

• Printing a draft copy

• Reviewing each address for typos or formatting issues

• Making final edits in the document

And finally, I can hit print and check it off my to-do list — until someone replies late with, “Oh! We moved last month.”

When I look at the whole thing, it’s a project, not a task — a chain of small, interdependent steps, some of which take days. Not giving credit to all those micro-steps makes it easier to leave it sitting there because it feels heavier than it “should.” But when I reduce it to the next immediate, actionable step — locate the file, order ink, send one message — it becomes manageable.

Overwhelm isn’t always resistance; sometimes it’s just complexity hiding behind a one-line to-do.

3. I Use Timers and Reminders Without Apology

Laundry has sat in the washer for hours because I didn’t hear the chime during a client call. I’ve walked into a room repeating “laundry, laundry, laundry” and still forgotten why I was there. Sidequest Sally — as I’ve lovingly named her — is alive and well.

I used to wish I could change that about myself. But after forty-two years, I’ve realized something: this wiring isn’t leaving. So instead of fighting it, I design around it. I set phone reminders for things that already exist in three other places. “Straighten hair in 7 minutes.” “Reminder at 8pm: 9am meeting tomorrow.”

Ridiculous at first? Maybe. Redundant after a while? Sure. Convenient? Not always. Necessary? Absolutely. Effective? 100%.

Systems aren’t about perfection. They’re about support. You can spend a lot of time searching for the perfect productivity tool or spend hours wishing your brain didn’t function the way it does. Or, you can embrace your humanity and recognize that sometimes the most effective systems are simple and deeply personal. That’s okay.

There is no universal normal. There’s just your normal. Design for that.

Until next time, be kind to yourselves, sidequesters.